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  • A Few Thoughts

    Hey! Thanks for reading and replying. Here are some more thoughts I’ve had related to that.

    Susanna’s Comment

    Thanks for writing such a great post. I really enjoyed it. And now I am more convinced than ever that I have to go to Paris someday. I like to believe that it really is everything I dream it to be.

    I understand the fake feeling of Provo. That is where most of my dissatisfaction came from when I was living there. I felt rather alone when I was sad or upset because it seemed like people expected me to be a happy bubbly girl. And that’s just not who I am. I’m a rather melancholy person who loves to live and think deeply about things even if that means making myself feel a little bit down at times. I prefer unhappiness and maybe even a little rudeness to being fake. So the way you feel is good in my opinion. I think it means that you are actually looking at things around you and seeing them for what they really are.
    Anyway, I hope that you can return to Europe again someday. And if you got a job there I think it would be a good exscuse for me to make my way over there.

    Thanks for your comment on my last post, Sue. By the way, happy birthday! Sorry I missed it, I was sort of out of the country. I have a present for you, I just have to get around to shipping it.

    So, I had a few thoughts occur to me since last writing. First, my life experiences are very different from those of most people around me. I tend to see things from a slightly different perspective. However, I think there’s some validity to the other perspective as well. I’ve been able to see life in the rose-colored glasses view from time to time, and it’s not all bad. I’m much more productive when I’m like that—it just feels better, so I get more done. But I also like the view that I have most of the time. I think it teaches compassion and patience, and helps me to appreciate what’s good in my life.

    Second, people are different. For whatever reason, some people seem to find it acceptable to have a little bit of pretense in the way they present themselves. I don’t necessarily think it equates to dishonesty. From time to time I will do the same thing. I think it’s a tool, in a way; something that arises when one’s words are well-calculated to achieve some desired effect, when there’s an extra layer of processing, so to speak, between you and the face you present to the world. If you want to get psychoanalytical, it all boils down to a contest between the id and the ego, right? And that’s just one of a limitless array of possible variations in people’s personalities. Even if I dislike such things, even if I find something morally reprehensible in the behavior of a friend or associate, in a way my policy needs to be “live and let live.” I’m a quirky fellow. I don’t always do things with 100% pure motives or absolute genuine feelings. I appreciate other people letting things slide, loving me anyway, and the least I can do is to give them the same treatment. So I hope to do a little less judging. You find what you look for, so why find fault?

    Tallia’s Post

    Here’s the comment Tallia made:

    Josh, I have had times in my life where I have felt the same way…why are there people who are always happy, happy, happy? Why are there people with so much energy, so much luck in life, such a great family and just about everything else? And I definitely hated that about BYU, but luckily I could escape some of it because I was already married. I’ve been noticing though that not everyone is like that, and there are other people who are overwhelmed by people like that. There are people who are sweet, sensitive, have great lives, but don’t have to be hyper all the time, or even ever. They just quietly go about their lives doing what they are content with and don’t seem to worry about what others think of their outward appearance. They aren’t social outcasts either. But I think many of those people are the thinkers, like Susanna was saying of herself. They are the ones who know life isn’t always going to be pefect and that they aren’t meant to be 100% happy all the time, but that life is still wonderful and very worth living. I hope I made some sense!

    Thanks, Tallia. It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one frustrated by that here, and also to know that there are other types of people out there that I can look forward to meeting.

  • En españa—totally soaked, newly conscious

    I’m completely wet. Tonight we’re going to see the new Pirates movie, Piratas del carribe 3: en el fin del mundo, as they call it here. So to accompany that, we’re going to watch the first movie on a projector here at the school. Well, we were supposed to meet at 4pm, so I headed out into a nice thunderstorm to get there on time-ish. I had an umbrella, I had a sweatshirt, I rolled up the bottom of each pant leg, but to no avail. The front of me got soaked all the way to my hips, and my backpack was hit just as hard!

    Well, it should be dry at least by the time we watch the new movie at 8:30 tonight. Meanwhile, I’ve had some interesting realizations about America and Europe. To summarize: I’m more grateful for my homeland than ever. There are certainly problems there, but in many ways it’s like a fairy tale compared to the rest of the world. I didn’t realize how much we have, materially, culturally, spiritually. Also, I’m more grateful for our friends here in Europe. While the United States made great sacrifices in the second World War and in providing an alternative to communism, we never had our country overcome by dictators or destroyed by nightly bombing raids. We never lived in the shadow of the Soviet Union or had to endure German occupation. In other words, many of our sacrifices were made from a safe distance. Theirs were made right at home. I’ve had conversations with people here in which I’ve been able to understand a little better their frustrations with our involvement in Iraq. They see the Iraq war as having been a misguided quest for petroleum. They also feel like the Iraq war has been the cause of the terror attacks in London and Madrid by radicalizing muslims into islamists. Europeans speak much of the fall of the American “empire,” which has always confused me. But they (some of them, anyway) also realize that they themselves are part of that empire. The whole of the west enjoys the protection of American strength. Spanish and Dutch people I’ve talked to feel that America has gone in search of terrorists far away in Iraq, while we already know that such people can be found amongst our own populations, in terror cells in Spain, France, Holland, whatever.

    Most people acknowledge that we’re seeing a clash of civilizations. The disagreement is really in the implementation details. The question we have to face is whether it’s best to stay the course in Iraq. If so (and I think it probably is so) then we must decide how to best improve the situation there. If not, we have to find an exit strategy that is minimally harmful, though I don’t know if we can hope to influence things too much as we’re on our way out. Either way we need to keep the confidence of our allies in Europe. While in many ways western culture as embodied in western Europe is quite an embarrassment in its abandonment of almost all forms of morality and in its paranoiac fear of armed conflict. But, western culture is my culture, one way or another. Here in Spain, there are so many similarities in thought and values to those I am accustomed to that it is clear that we and they have some common roots. We, meaning the United States, need to accept that and encourage solidarity amongst all of the West.

    We also want to avoid self-fulfilling prophecies. I think there is truth to the observation that much of the conflict we see right now is a result of East-West culture differences. However, let’s not let that observation guide our possibilities too much. We should do whatever we can do to encourage good relations and cultural and economic exchange with the Arab/Muslim/Eastern world. Let us fight the war on terror in the way it’s being waged against us. This does not mean that we will adopt the tactics of fear and pointless destruction that we face. Instead, it means that we need to work smart. We’ve already given in to the temptation to try to bludgeon terrorism with the blunt end of our military might. Instead, we need a specialized intelligence corps – not the FBI, not the CIA, not Special Forces, but something different. Instead of “terror cells” we need antiterror cells. Instead of letting radical propoganda win on the Internet and in public forums, we need people to communicate our message. What is that message? That there is a better way. That America doesn’t want to control your destiny. Here, it’s yours, take it. Do something good with it. Strengthen your people. Build a beautiful culture. But don’t resort to hate. Instead of a cry of jihad let us make a cry of libertad! Let’s make Western culture something worth defending. We must not only be the guardians of democracy, but let us also be good people. So to libertad let’s add bondad! The jihadists make some accusations against us, such as that we are immoral and materialistic. Let’s make sure there’s as little truth to those charges as possible. Just as NATO provided an alternative culture in contrast to the Soviet empire, the free world needs to provide if not an entire culture than at least cultural elements that members of the Arab world seeking an alternative can turn to instead of jihadism.

    Anyway, I’m sort of rambling. I’ll need to refine these thoughts a bit, but here are some kernels of my latest ideas. Take care!